Bullying Prevention Is Everyone's Responsibility Bullying Prevention is essential as learning ABC's and 123's.Bullying prevention should be part of the home instructions seeing that home is the first school. Young children need … [Read More...]
Bully Victim Help Tips For Parents
Bully victim fall prey to bullies anywhere.Bully victim proof your child to prevent headaches later on. Help your child avoid becoming a bully victim by giving them the necessary skills needed to avoid becoming a bully victim.
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes school. For a fourth grader, this does not sound right. The reason Keith dislikes school though does not have anything to do with academics. Keith is being bullied before school, at school, and on the school bus. Who can blame him for not wanting to go into that environment?
The basic definition of bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Bullying involves crossing into one’s space without permission.
Isn’t bullying just something that happens to all children and we’re just making a fuss over this? The children will get over it, right? Shouldn’t we tell Keith to grow up and handle it? Wrong. Bullying happens to far too many children and adults shouldn’t be ignoring it.
WHAT CAN A PARENT DO TO Avoid Kids Becoming Bully Victim?
If Keith is being bullied and he is not reporting it to his parents then there are some very important questions to address.
· Why wouldn’t he tell his parents?
· What message have Keith’s parents sent to him about bullies?
· Does Keith’s parents have a history of dismissing what he says?
· Possibly Keith’s parents have had a habit of getting too involved in solving his problems.
Tips for parents:
· Encourage your child to report any bullying incidents to you.
· Validate your child’s feelings. It is normal for your child to feel hurt, sad, and angry.
· Ask your child how he/she has tried to stop the bullying. Asking questions is a wonderful way to have your child do the thinking.
· Ask how is he/she going to solve this. We want the child to do the thinking before we jump in. See how many options he can come up with.
· Coach your child in alternatives. Ideally the best solution is having your child solve this without anyone interfering. Most of the time unfortunately, this isn’t possible. Share these strategies: avoidance is often an excellent strategy, playing in a different place, play a different game, stay near a supervisor, look for new friends, join social activities outside of school.
· Talk with your child’s teacher. Make sure they are aware of what is going on.
· Encourage your child to seek help from other school personnel.
· Volunteer to help supervise activities at school.
· Do not ignore your child’s reports. Ignoring them sends the wrong message.
· Do not confront the bully or the bullies’ family.
· Teach your child how to defend him or herself.
· Teach self-respect.
· Give numerous positive comments to your child.
· Avoid labeling or name-calling.
· Let your child know it is okay to express their anger. There are positive and negative ways to express anger,we want to teach and model the positive ways.
· Let your children stand up to you now and then. It makes it more likely they will stand up to a Bully without becoming a Bully victim.
· Stress the importance of body language.
· Teach your child to use ‘I’ statements.
· Teach positive self-talk.
· Teach how to use humor, ‘out crazy’ them. For example, if the Bully says to Keith, “Hey, boy you’re ugly.”
Keith can respond in a couple
“Thanks for sharing”
“Yes, I know, I always have been”
“Yes, today’s lunch was disgusting” then walk away. There is many other aspects of bullying to look at: Why your child is the victim, why people bully, what you child can do if he/she is bullied, signs your child is being bullied, what the schools should be doing, handling the school bus issues. All of these are addressed in The Shameful Epidemic, How to protect your child from bullies and school violence. Visit www.stoppingschoolviolence.com to learn what is possible. There are solutions to help kids from beooming a Bully Victim.
Derek and Gail Randel M.D. are parent coaches who have customized programs for corporations, schools, and parent groups. They can be reached at Parent Smart from the Heart, 1-866-89-SMART, [http://www.parentsmartfromtheheart.com], [http://www.stoppingschoolviolence.com] or firstname.lastname@example.org
Article Source: Expert/Derek_Randel
Stop Bullying You Say? How?
Stop bullying by helping your child feel that they really matter. Stop bullying by continually instilling the importance of self love and self confidence in your child. Stop bullying by acknowledging that your child is awesome and always validate them. Stop bullying by continually improving on your child’s skills and capabilities. Continue reading stop bullying using increased self confidence to learn more.
To define bullying or offer up a bullying definition is quite easy. Put very simply, bullying is normally regarded as the act of someone stronger or in a stronger position, putting undue and often unrelenting pressure on another person in the way of taunts, slander, gossip or other mental abuse as well as the physical torment of hitting, fighting, kicking, beating or other forms of physical abuse.
As above, a bullying definition is easy to give however a bullying solution or how to stop bullying is not so easy to come by. It seems as though everyday in our news reports we hear of yet another story of tragedy resulting from the cowardly acts of bullies torturing their victims. Whether it is mental or physical, in person or online, bullying seems to be on the rise and also rising is the personal cost that these bullying victims and their families must pay. It seems that as we have embraced the ever increasing amounts of technology, so too have we unwittingly invited the bullies of the world – now more commonly known as cyber bully’s – so much more readily into our home.
There are countless bullying stories of abuse and torment but sadly, not so many solutions. There are a few bullying programs available out there and many schools as part of their school bullying policy and procedures now undergo anti bullying activities as part of their curriculum. This is fantastic and a great start however there is a simple life skill that potential or actual victims of bullying can learn and utilise to ensure they are never picked as a target in the first place.
The secret weapon in your dealing with bullies’ arsenal is so simple but is insanely effective – SELF CONFIDENCE!
YES! It really can be that simple! In most cases, the traditional bully is usually a coward, full of insecurities and feelings of low self esteem and self worth and that is exactly how they pick their targets – by finding potential victims that suit the same or similar profile. By dominating and bullying this “target” they are able to (in theory) feel better about themselves.
Taking this principle further, it makes sense then to assume that a bully searching for potential targets will never, ever, pick someone who is healthily confident, has great self esteem and has the ability to stand up for themselves and what they believe in. The target is just too hard!
Like a lion in the jungle that preys on the sick, the weak, the very young or the very old, so too does the bully hunt on people with similar qualities and characteristics. You or your child might say “But I have no confidence, it’s just not in me, it’s not the way I’m wired!” Do not resign yourself to having low self esteem and little self confidence because the truly great thing about learning this awesome life skill is that once you have lit the spark, flames will come and come quickly at a surprisingly fast rate!
The key here is simply getting started. Once you have begun your confidence building exercises you will start to notice rapid changes in yourself and if you fully commit to such a program then no bully will ever target you again and you will well be on your way to putting a stop to bullying.
Another great reward of improving your self confidence is the simple fact that not only will it help you deal with the bullies but the benefits of healthy self esteem and positive self confidence will allow you or your child to set yourselves up for success in all areas of your life, allowing you to grow and reach your full potential! Who does not want that?!
To find out more about how using Self Confidence Tips [http://dealingwithbullies.org/how-to-deal-with-bully-through-self-confidence-course] can help you in dealing with bullies as well as heaps more essential and helpful info on how to deal with bully and stop bullying, please visit Dealing With Bullies! [http://www.dealingwithbullies.org/]
Best of luck and never stop listening too, supporting and loving your children. It is our job as parents to protect them from the bullies and never let them get hold!
Bullying Signs And Steps To Take
Bullying is very common. Even in pre kindergarten, children experience bullying. Tackling bullying is a necessary step if bullying is to be stopped. Parents and caregivers need to arm children with whatever skills necessary to combat bullying as bullying has been known to make life real miserable.
Bullying is not a one-time deal. It’s repetitive, caustic, and sometimes devastating in its violence-with consequences that can last a lifetime. Moreover . . .
1. Pennsylvania is the fourth worst state to live in when it comes to bullying.
2. According to a U.S. Department of Education/U.S. Justice Department report, 32% of our 12- to 18-year-old have been victimized by a classmate.
3. In a recent National Institutes of Health study of 1,782 children in grades six through ten, 20.8% had either physically bullied others or been bullied; 53.5% were victims of verbal bullying; 51.4% experienced relational bullying, such as exclusion, rumors, and cyber bullying.
4. Bullying seems to peak in middle school–particularly in 7th and 8th grade.
5. Girls are more likely to be victims of relational bullying, while boys are more often involved in physical or verbal abuse.
6. Bullying is enabled by good people who do nothing-in other words, bystanders who witness or hear about abuse, walk away, and keep silent. That includes adults.
The problem has also gone way beyond name-calling, teasing, and shunning. There seem to be no limits nowadays, which is why so many school districts across the country have already implemented anti-bullying programs, such as Olweus.
Says attorney Joseph Braun, “It’s starting to become more physical, more sexual, and it’s not just emotional bullying like we’ve seen in the past.” Consider the five California students who plastic- wrapped and duct-taped a classmate, then proceeded to mock him-and tried several times to attach him to a wall, as well. Only a trickle of blood brought the horror to an end. Several witnesses fled the scene and stayed mum. Then there was the recent rape with a hockey stick and broom handle of a ninth grade Florida boy by four flag football players . . .
Worse yet, many children don’t tell anyone what’s going on, sometimes out of fear it will only make matters worse or be told to either ignore the bully and walk away or not make such a big deal about it. It is a big deal, however, and parents must be watchful.
Signs to Look For:
o Disarrayed clothing
o Damaged books
o A reluctance to go to school
o Repeated complaints of headaches and stomach aches
o Sleep issues
o Loss of interest in school and/or favorite activities
o Anxious and/or depressed affect
o Few friends and few invitations
When your suspicions are confirmed or your child comes to you . . .
- Don’t be dismissive. Listen carefully, quietly, and without interruption.
- Take the problem seriously, but don’t over-react
- Don’t blame your child or act as if she somehow invited the abusive behavior
- Make home a safe haven-a place where your child can speak openly and unconditionally.
- Encourage your child to get involved in a hobby, sport, or scouting
- Cultivate your child’s social skills
- Make sure your child feels supported and knows that you’re on her/his side
- Encourage new friends.
- Don’t call the bully’s parents
- Be truthful about how you’ll proceed, starting with contacting your child’s teacher(s)
Don’t be surprised if your child reacts negatively to the prospect of your involving the school, but make the call despite the heart-breaking pleading; you can’t handle this entirely on your own. Explain that bullying is a problem for all children, hence all adults, and teachers are your first line of defense and need to be alerted.
When you make the call, be sure to have your facts–who, what, where, when, and how-straight, documented and dated. Expect a call back from your child’s teacher(s) within a few days-hopefully that same day. If no remedy is forthcoming, request a meeting with the principal. Meanwhile, don’t forget to summarize and date all contacts with school personnel.
If the abuse warrants it, such as in the case of a physical or sexual assault, contact the police immediately and have a report typed up. Bullies, Bystanders, and their parents must be held accountable-and they are in our courts of law.
Bottom line: Don’t go it alone; take action, empowering your child with your support and empathy. Yes, kids will be kids, but the rules have unfortunately changed, making bullying an even bigger deal nowadays. And remember: so-called harmless mistreatment can, over time, escalate.
Carol is a learning specialist who worked with middle school children and their parents at the Methacton School District in Pennsylvania for more than 25 years and now supervises student teachers at Gwynedd-Mercy College. Along with the booklet, 149 Parenting School-Wise Tips: Intermediate Grades & Up, and numerous articles in such publications as Teaching Pre-K-8 and Curious Parents, she has authored three successful learning guidebooks: Getting School-Wise: A Student Guidebook, Other-Wise and School-Wise: A Parent Guidebook, and ESL Activities for Every Month of the School Year. She also writes for examiner.com; read her articles at http://www.examiner.com/x-6261-Montgomery-County-Wise-Parenting-Examiner For more information, go to http://www.schoolwisebooks.com
Article Source: Expert/Carol_Josel