My Bullying Victim Stood Up For Me

My bullying victim stood up for me.Yep, you read that right. It’s not the day she stood up to me but for me. Now that I’m older and really get the harmful effects of bullying, I completely stand against it. It wasn’t, however, always like that. When I was in middle school, there was this girl in my class. I’d known her since the 4th grade and she was always a little different from everybody else.

She tended to keep to herself and her recess periods were always spent rereading the same book she constantly checked out from the library. She didn’t really have very many friends, and I wish now I would have tried to be her friend instead of pick on her like everyone else. Now, my bullying of her wasn’t as cruel as some of the others, but it was still mean.

Every day after school she used to stand by the buses by herself just doing her own thing. Then one day my friend and I decided to go over to her and pick on her. I honestly can’t remember what we said but, I know it happened more than once. Then there was a day where I misplaced a brand new bracelet. I’d seen her near my things so, I immediately accused her of stealing it. It turned out I had left it at home or something, and she was completely innocent. My pride kept me from apologizing to her.

Fast forward a bit, and I started getting bullied by this one girl. Her and her crew would make faces every time I walked by and would call me a loser. It got to the point where one day she trapped me in a classroom. Me being extremely claustrophobic, I started to freak out and beg her to let me out. I eventually pushed my way out of the room and by the time I made it back to the main hall, the girl I had bullied was telling the conduct director what had happened.

She stood up for me! I was in complete and absolute shock. I didn’t deserve that. She should’ve walked away and been happy that I got a taste of my own medicine, yet she didn’t. Afterwards, she even made sure that I was okay and I thanked her. I still carry that memory of her with me to remind me of how horrible bullying feels and how the people you least expect are the ones there for you in your time of need.

bullying help

She was the bigger person that day, yet I never got the courage to apologize to her. From that day on I never bothered her again, but I also didn’t defend her when others picked on her. She ended up changing schools, and I never heard from her again. Her name is Rebecca and I am so thankful to have had her in my life to teach me so many life lessons that I still carry with me. I don’t know if she remembers me or if she’ll ever read this but, if she does. I finally want to give her a long overdue apology.

I am so sorry that I thought it funny to pick on you. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything when others mocked you or when they pulled down your skirt. I’m sorry I never sat with you during recess or asked about that book you loved so much. I’m sorry I accused you of stealing. I’m sorry I never said sorry – that it took me this long to say it. I wish I could contact you somehow and really apologize. Thank you for having my back that day.

While I learned many lessons from being both a bully and a victim, I really want to spread the message that it’s time to be much kinder and empathetic to each other. Don’t pick on someone just because they’re different or because everyone else does. Embrace those differences and speak up when you see someone getting bullied. This world needs more kindness and love – it needs more people like Rebecca.
María Cardona

Bully Victim, Bully Friend or Bully Onlooker Challenge

Bully Victim, Bully Friend or Bully Onlooker Challenge

Bully victim,bully friend,bully onlooker: Which one are you? Bullys come in all shapes and sizes and if you don’t know where you fit in, taking this survey may help you discover whether you are a Bully victim, bully friend or bully Onlooker. Do this by checking the statement which is true about you.
Bully_friend_bully_bystander_bully_victim
Bully Victim

  • Kids pick on me, they tease me and I keep it to myself.
  • Kids take my stuff from me and keep it
  • Kids have called me names and even threatened to hurt me
  • Kids have hurt me

bully_victim

  • I participate in name calling
  • I say and have said nasty things about others
  • I choose not to include certain people in my group
  • I say mean things on the internet or text message that I wouldn’t say in person

Bully Friend

  • I don’t join others in teasing or hurting others
  • I tand up for a friend
  • I make new people feel welcome
  • When others are mean I try to be nice

Bully Bystander

bully_bystander_bully_onlooker

  • I don’t do anything when others are teased I just watch
  • I laugh when others get teased
  • I laugh when others do mean things to others
  • I don’t say or do anything when kids are shoved or pushed around
  • I listen when other kids talk about hating other kids

Look at all the different sections. Which is true about you? How well did you do in the friend section? Regardless of the section you land in, every day is an opportunity to change and improve your life and that of others.

If you are a Bully, you need to ask yourself “how would I feel if I was the receiver of everything mean,bad,and nasty? How does making others life miserable help me feel good about me?” If you feel bad about your ways and actions then maybe, now is the time for you to “turn over a new leaf.” Most kids who bully other kids are sometimes victims of bullying. They are usually angry and need to sit down with someone who will help them to channel this anger and negative vibes into something positive. Change is good and requires lots of courage. Though it will not be easy to change your ways on your own, it can be done. So go ahead and speak to someone to your guidance counselor or someone you trust.
bullY

Your guidance counselor can help you see and understand that, there is nothing good to accomplish by you being mean and nasty to others. He or she can help you discover why you are angry and help you change and start making positive plans for your future.

Bully-Friend
You landed in the friend section. Good for you!Give yourself a tap on the shoulder. You are helping to bring about positive change. Your standing up and speaking against bullying may have many kids and you may not even know it.

Bully-Victim

I hope and pray that you are not the victim. However, if you are then rest assured that there is help and your situation can change for the best. Teachers, school counselors, and social workers can help you find ways to stop being a victim of bullying.

Bully-Onlooker

Okay, you may say that you don’t start or take part in bullying others and think its okay because you just watch but just watching without doing something to try to end bullying is just as bad. You should not be a passive bystander because someone could not only get hurt but the Bully will be encouraged even more when no one either speaks up or do something. If you are afraid that if you say something, the Bully will attack you, rally friends to help speak up against Bullying. If your friends do not want to help then,you just might need to associate with a new set of friends.


bullY-onlooker

Bully

Bullying no longer happens only face to face but now on the internet. Cyber-bullying is pretty much common and Bullying can be disastrous as it is painful. No one likes to be talked about when their back is turned, ganged up upon,nor have their name and reputation tainted in a nasty email in cyberspace. Let us hear your story please tell us in the comment box.



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